Thankful despite the obstacles...

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about our adoption and how frustrating the process can be with all of the obstacles we seem to come up against. It is really easy to get upset and angry about the time it has taken and knowing that during this time someone else is taking care of Madison. We started the adoption back on April 21 and were told that the process could take up to a year but hopefully it would not take that long. We were really excited when we had all of the paperwork and the homestudy done so fast, then we seemed to get our INS approval faster than we expected, and then our case seemed to make it through the Guatemala family court system fairly fast. We were feeling like we were on cloud nine and that nothing could get in our way, but then we hit a road block in PGN and have been hitting the bumps ever since. We have always said that she will come home when God is ready for her to come home but really wishing for it to be when we wanted. We have gone from wishing she would be home in September, to October, to December, to January. Don't get me wrong we still want her home yesterday but today while we were in church I really felt an understanding of the wait. (As best as I can understand) I really felt convicted that I should be thankful for the entire process to include all of the issues and delays. Adoption may seem like a very popular activity in the United States whether it is a domestic adoption or an international adoption. However in reality most couples start their family the more traditional route and have a biological child. Some may need help from the medical advances that we now have but they still have a biological child. I realized that we are privileged to be able to adopt and that not everyone has this opportunity. How awesome is it that God created Madison and had us in mind to be her parents even before we considered adoption. I am so thankful for God choosing me to be her mother. I know that I will love all of my children equally and unconditionally but it is by God's grace that I am able to love a little Girl in another country so much and so unconditionally without being around her every day. In pregnancy the mother has the chance to bond with the baby for 9 months as she goes through the changes in pregnancy. The father also has this time to bond through the mother’s experiences, ultrasounds, and hearing the heartbeat. During adoption you rarely have anything other than a few pictures every few months and a medical update. I am in awe at how connected we feel to Madison with just that little bit of information. We were so in love with her before we went to visit her in September and are even more in love with her today. Again it is by God's grace that she is our daughter. Today I realized that no matter what obstacles we face in bringing her home our love for her does not change much like God's love for us doesn’t change. He loves us unconditionally even when we create obstacles that take us away from him. He is always there waiting, if he is willing to do that for us, do I really have the right to get angry with not agreeing with his timing for our adoption?
So with this I am stating that yes I may get disappointed with the delays but I am just as thankful for the delays as I am everything else because it is through this entire journey that I am learning what unconditional love really is and how to really appreciate that type of love. We both still want Madison home yesterday but are also more understanding of God's will and that no matter how long it takes his plan is for us to be her parents.

The latest news on our case.

The latest news on our case is that the Central Authority offices are now up and running in Guatemala. This is a new agency that was put in place by the Government in Guatemala as part of their Hague Treaty compliance. With this new agency all adoption cases must be registered with them. We found out that on Friday the Central Authority released the necessary paperwork for the registration. This paperwork is 4 pages long and also requires a picture of Madison, her handprints and footprints. The Central Authority will begin accepting the completed paperwork on Monday. We are hoping that our attorney has picked up the paperwork and has spent the weekend getting the necessary information to complete it all. We know that he has several cases that he is working on so we can only imagine he and his assistant have been very busy this weekend. Once the paperwork is submitted to the Central Authority, they will look it over and must approve it before the case can be re-submitted back into PGN. Once again as a reminder PGN is the Guatemalan Government Agency that approves all adoptions. We must have their approval before our adoption can be finalized. We are praying for fast approvals from both agencies. Hopefully no later than Tuesday we will have some information as to whether our case was submitted to the Central Authority or not.
We also found out that Thursday Madison was evidently taken to another Foster Home. We were shocked to find out that this has happened and quickly began trying to find out the reason. We did find out that the reason was not because of the care she was receiving. We both were very comfortable with the care she was receiving from the foster family and felt that they cared for her like she was their own. Our agency assured us that she is ok and with another family who will care for her the same way. At this time all we can do is go on trust and just believe what they say about her being in good hands. We also believe that God would not put her in a situation that was going to harm her in anyway. When we started the adoption process we knew that we would have to have some level of trust for the process and all those involved but I can honestly tell you that we never imagined the amount of trust we would need. We did a lot of praying before starting the process and even more during. With all of the recent news about the negativity of Guatemalan adoptions it is easy to get worried, upset, nervous, etc, but we both have to keep going back to prayer and the peaceful feeling we had when we first decided to accept the referral for Madison. It is extremely difficult to know that the future of our family is in the hands of another country but we remind ourselves that yes Guatemala is another country but God is universal and he is always in control.
Please continue to keep us and the adoption in your prayers. We also would like to ask everyone to keep Madison in your prayers while she is adjusting to being in a new foster home.

Update!

We have good news. Our case will be re-submitted to PGN on Jan. 16. We found out that the signature issues have been corrected and our paperwork is now ready for PGN. We also found out that PGN is not accepting cases until Jan. 16 so that is why we have to wait until then. We are just happy that we only have to wait for a short time. Once our case is in PGN (Guatemalan Government approval) it will go through three different reviewers for approval. We also found out that there is now an agency called the Central Authority which our case will have to be registered with. We do not know the details of this registration and what exactly it means but as soon as the agency finds out they will let us know. We knew that there would be some changes starting with the first of the year so the news of the Central Authority is not surprising. We are just excited to hear that we are going to be back in PGN soon. Our pray is now that we will not have another "kick out" and that our case will fly through PGN. We desperately want Madison to come home and are trying our best to keep our spirits up. We can both tell you that waiting on God's timing is not an easy thing to do but we know it is the right thing to do.
Please continue to pray for us, the adoption, Madison, and everyone who has anything to do with our case.

Shadow - my beloved cat

Iknow that most of the posts on this blog are about Madison and the adoption and that the adoption is the reason we started the blog. However it is also about our family and our pets are very much a part of our family. Today Wayne and I had to make one of the hardest decisions we have ever had to make. My cat Shadow became very sick and we had to decide what was best for her, in the end we decided to end her suffering and have her put to sleep. I have had Shadow for the past 10 years and she has been a very big part of my life. She was named Shadow for the simple fact that she was my shadow. She would follow me around the house and many times almost cause me to trip. If I was handwriting this post you would see tear stains on the paper. I am going to miss her more than I can say but I know that she is better not suffering anymore. I know that some of you may not be pet people but you can still understand that pets become a part of your family and it is very hard when you lose one.

Shadow, we love you and will miss you!

Merry Christmas to all our Friends and Family

We wanted to take a moment to thank each of you for your thoughts, support, and prayers during this time. We would not have been able to handle some of the ups and downs without each of you. We look forward to Christmas knowing that even if Madison can't be with us she is in our hearts and she is part of God's plan for our life. I am sure we will have a hard time over the next few days, especially on Christmas day knowing that she is so far away but we will take comfort in knowing that she is taken care of and in God's hands. We ask that you all continue to pray for the adoption process, not only ours but all of the adoptions in Guatemala.

Here are a few pictures of our Christmas tree and one of the many ornaments we have for Madison.

Isn't she Gorgeous!

When we checked our email a little while ago we were blessed with an early Christmas present. We received new pictures of Madison. In the pictures she is 8 months and 25 days old and weighs 20 pounds and 13 ounces. The medical report stated that she is developing normally and is very active and curious. She also evidently has what they described as "with certain grade of flu" which I can only guess is a cold that could be the flu. They are giving her medicine for that so that she does not get worse. She is changing so much that I can't believe it; she is changing from a baby to a little girl more and more each month.
The pictures are bitter sweet because of course we would rather have received information that we could go bring her home but we will take pictures any day instead of no news. We know that God is in control of the adoption and that even when we don't understand his timing is perfect. I can tell you that the "hurry up and wait" theory I learned in band in college does not work with adoptions.
We also received a phone call from the foster family last week. Which at first we were upset by the phone call because the neighbor they had trouble translating. We thought that she was telling us that the foster family thought we didn't care about Madison because we had not called them. I could not get her to understand that we didn't call because we don't speak Spanish but that we care more than we can say. During the phone call they did hold the phone up to Madison and we could hear her laughing, Hearing that made both Wayne and myself cry. After the phone call we were upset but the miscommunication so we called our friends Enrique and Chrissie who were willing to call the foster family and talk to them for us. Enrique called and explained to them that we do care and the only reason we haven't called is because we don't speak Spanish. He also found out that they never felt like we didn't care but instead they were trying to tell us that when we finally get to bring her home they are going to miss her terribly. She has become a part of their family. They also wanted to let us know that she is doing well and has almost out grown all of the clothes we left for her. They also wished us a Merry Christmas.
We are so thankful that she is with a foster family who cares so much. We never have doubts about her care she is receiving or about her not being loved.

We wanted to say a special Thank You to Enrique and Chrissie for helping us with the phone call.

As always please keep the adoption in your prayers.

Still waiting to be re-submitted back into PGN for the Guatemalan approval.

Well at this point we are still in the waiting process to be re-submitted into PGN. We did find out the reason for our case being kicked out. There were evidently some issues with the birthmother's signature. We were told that her signature on her ID card did not match the signature on the paperwork. Which at first can be alarming but when Wayne and I thought about it we understood. First of all if she had to sign as many papers as we did then her signature changed a little with each document. Secondly, how many of us have the EXACT signature each time we sign our name? We are currently waiting for a certified copy of the page in the Central Registry where she signed. As soon as our attorney has this then he will re-submit our case back to PGN. We were told this week that they were hoping our case would be re-submitted by the end of the week but as of Friday that had not happened. This set back is very disappointing and it just makes is longer before Madison can come home, but we still remain Faithful that everything will work out. The hardest thing is knowing that she is changing so much each day and we are missing out on it all. I just keep reminding myself that we have so many more years to look forward to and to just remember that once she is home she will be here forever. She has no idea what she is in store for once she gets here. She has a ton of family and friends just chomping at the bit to get their hands on her and spoil her.
In the mean time we are getting ready for Christmas but Madison is not being forgotten. We have a stocking hung for her, ornaments we bought for her on our tree, and lots of presents waiting for her. We also mailed a small package to the foster family. We put several small presents for her in the package as well as a present for the foster family. We are just praying that it gets to them without any issues. It is extremely hard to know that she will be celebrating her very first Christmas without us but she will definitely be in our thoughts and prayers during this time. She also better look out for next year because Christmas will be soooo much fun.

A picture of us with our beautiful daughter.

Still out of PGN!

Well we found out yesterday that our case has still not been resubmitted to PGN. Our agency is working to try to find out the exact reason for us not being in PGN so that we can at least have some type of understanding for the hold up. It is looking more and more like Madison will not be home by the end of the year but we are still praying for a miracle. Miracles do happen! We are asking for everyone to pray for our case and for Madison. We know that there is nothing we can do to speed things up we just have to trust in God that his will is being done. It is really hard to have Christmas just around the corner and not have Madison home. Our families have told us that it would not bother them if we were in Guatemala for Christmas preparing to bring her home instead of spending time with them. We know that it would be a true miracle for this to happen. Madison will be home soon, we just don't know how soon that will be. It seems so amazing to love someone so much through pictures and the one week we spent with her but honestly all it took was the very first picture. In our hearts she is already our daughter.

Bad news and great pictures!

Ok, well I have not updated in a while mostly because we were hoping to get some good news to report. But unfortunately the only news we have received concerning our case has been bad news. We found out that the timeline for our case is as follows:

On September 3 we entered PGN (Guatemalan Government Agency - I compare it to a DHS type agency but for the entire country)
We were kicked out a short time later for having been submitted to PGN prior to receiving our pre-approval from the US Embassy. We received that on September 28.

On October 12 we were in PGN and on the second reviewer’s desk waiting for the case to be reviewed. (In PGN each adoption case must go through three reviewers and then back to the first before it can be approved and a Visa be issued.)

We found out on October 30 that we received another previo (the term PGN uses to basically mean "kicked out") in PGN on October 25. We don't really know the reason for the previo at this time.

Currently we are not back in PGN and we still don't have a reason for the previo. We are assuming that the previo does not have anything to do with our paperwork or that it is not something that Wayne or I could correct. The previo could be caused by a variety of reasons some of which could be the birthmother’s paperwork, the hospital records, and etc. We are just praying that the problem is resolved soon and our case goes back in PGN without any further issues.

We are very disappointed by this news because this puts our case on hold indefinitely but will still remain hopeful. This is one of the biggest tests of faith we have ever faced. We are trying to remain strong and keep our faith that Madison will be home soon.

On a better note we did receive a medical update with new pictures. In the pictures Madison is 7 months and 10 days old. She currently weighs about 19 1/2 pounds and is developing normally. She is beginning to be more verbal and sitting up by herself.