Sunday, January 27, 2008

Thankful despite the obstacles...

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about our adoption and how frustrating the process can be with all of the obstacles we seem to come up against. It is really easy to get upset and angry about the time it has taken and knowing that during this time someone else is taking care of Madison. We started the adoption back on April 21 and were told that the process could take up to a year but hopefully it would not take that long. We were really excited when we had all of the paperwork and the homestudy done so fast, then we seemed to get our INS approval faster than we expected, and then our case seemed to make it through the Guatemala family court system fairly fast. We were feeling like we were on cloud nine and that nothing could get in our way, but then we hit a road block in PGN and have been hitting the bumps ever since. We have always said that she will come home when God is ready for her to come home but really wishing for it to be when we wanted. We have gone from wishing she would be home in September, to October, to December, to January. Don't get me wrong we still want her home yesterday but today while we were in church I really felt an understanding of the wait. (As best as I can understand) I really felt convicted that I should be thankful for the entire process to include all of the issues and delays. Adoption may seem like a very popular activity in the United States whether it is a domestic adoption or an international adoption. However in reality most couples start their family the more traditional route and have a biological child. Some may need help from the medical advances that we now have but they still have a biological child. I realized that we are privileged to be able to adopt and that not everyone has this opportunity. How awesome is it that God created Madison and had us in mind to be her parents even before we considered adoption. I am so thankful for God choosing me to be her mother. I know that I will love all of my children equally and unconditionally but it is by God's grace that I am able to love a little Girl in another country so much and so unconditionally without being around her every day. In pregnancy the mother has the chance to bond with the baby for 9 months as she goes through the changes in pregnancy. The father also has this time to bond through the mother’s experiences, ultrasounds, and hearing the heartbeat. During adoption you rarely have anything other than a few pictures every few months and a medical update. I am in awe at how connected we feel to Madison with just that little bit of information. We were so in love with her before we went to visit her in September and are even more in love with her today. Again it is by God's grace that she is our daughter. Today I realized that no matter what obstacles we face in bringing her home our love for her does not change much like God's love for us doesn’t change. He loves us unconditionally even when we create obstacles that take us away from him. He is always there waiting, if he is willing to do that for us, do I really have the right to get angry with not agreeing with his timing for our adoption?
So with this I am stating that yes I may get disappointed with the delays but I am just as thankful for the delays as I am everything else because it is through this entire journey that I am learning what unconditional love really is and how to really appreciate that type of love. We both still want Madison home yesterday but are also more understanding of God's will and that no matter how long it takes his plan is for us to be her parents.

1 comment:

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