Thankful despite the obstacles...

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about our adoption and how frustrating the process can be with all of the obstacles we seem to come up against. It is really easy to get upset and angry about the time it has taken and knowing that during this time someone else is taking care of Madison. We started the adoption back on April 21 and were told that the process could take up to a year but hopefully it would not take that long. We were really excited when we had all of the paperwork and the homestudy done so fast, then we seemed to get our INS approval faster than we expected, and then our case seemed to make it through the Guatemala family court system fairly fast. We were feeling like we were on cloud nine and that nothing could get in our way, but then we hit a road block in PGN and have been hitting the bumps ever since. We have always said that she will come home when God is ready for her to come home but really wishing for it to be when we wanted. We have gone from wishing she would be home in September, to October, to December, to January. Don't get me wrong we still want her home yesterday but today while we were in church I really felt an understanding of the wait. (As best as I can understand) I really felt convicted that I should be thankful for the entire process to include all of the issues and delays. Adoption may seem like a very popular activity in the United States whether it is a domestic adoption or an international adoption. However in reality most couples start their family the more traditional route and have a biological child. Some may need help from the medical advances that we now have but they still have a biological child. I realized that we are privileged to be able to adopt and that not everyone has this opportunity. How awesome is it that God created Madison and had us in mind to be her parents even before we considered adoption. I am so thankful for God choosing me to be her mother. I know that I will love all of my children equally and unconditionally but it is by God's grace that I am able to love a little Girl in another country so much and so unconditionally without being around her every day. In pregnancy the mother has the chance to bond with the baby for 9 months as she goes through the changes in pregnancy. The father also has this time to bond through the mother’s experiences, ultrasounds, and hearing the heartbeat. During adoption you rarely have anything other than a few pictures every few months and a medical update. I am in awe at how connected we feel to Madison with just that little bit of information. We were so in love with her before we went to visit her in September and are even more in love with her today. Again it is by God's grace that she is our daughter. Today I realized that no matter what obstacles we face in bringing her home our love for her does not change much like God's love for us doesn’t change. He loves us unconditionally even when we create obstacles that take us away from him. He is always there waiting, if he is willing to do that for us, do I really have the right to get angry with not agreeing with his timing for our adoption?
So with this I am stating that yes I may get disappointed with the delays but I am just as thankful for the delays as I am everything else because it is through this entire journey that I am learning what unconditional love really is and how to really appreciate that type of love. We both still want Madison home yesterday but are also more understanding of God's will and that no matter how long it takes his plan is for us to be her parents.

The latest news on our case.

The latest news on our case is that the Central Authority offices are now up and running in Guatemala. This is a new agency that was put in place by the Government in Guatemala as part of their Hague Treaty compliance. With this new agency all adoption cases must be registered with them. We found out that on Friday the Central Authority released the necessary paperwork for the registration. This paperwork is 4 pages long and also requires a picture of Madison, her handprints and footprints. The Central Authority will begin accepting the completed paperwork on Monday. We are hoping that our attorney has picked up the paperwork and has spent the weekend getting the necessary information to complete it all. We know that he has several cases that he is working on so we can only imagine he and his assistant have been very busy this weekend. Once the paperwork is submitted to the Central Authority, they will look it over and must approve it before the case can be re-submitted back into PGN. Once again as a reminder PGN is the Guatemalan Government Agency that approves all adoptions. We must have their approval before our adoption can be finalized. We are praying for fast approvals from both agencies. Hopefully no later than Tuesday we will have some information as to whether our case was submitted to the Central Authority or not.
We also found out that Thursday Madison was evidently taken to another Foster Home. We were shocked to find out that this has happened and quickly began trying to find out the reason. We did find out that the reason was not because of the care she was receiving. We both were very comfortable with the care she was receiving from the foster family and felt that they cared for her like she was their own. Our agency assured us that she is ok and with another family who will care for her the same way. At this time all we can do is go on trust and just believe what they say about her being in good hands. We also believe that God would not put her in a situation that was going to harm her in anyway. When we started the adoption process we knew that we would have to have some level of trust for the process and all those involved but I can honestly tell you that we never imagined the amount of trust we would need. We did a lot of praying before starting the process and even more during. With all of the recent news about the negativity of Guatemalan adoptions it is easy to get worried, upset, nervous, etc, but we both have to keep going back to prayer and the peaceful feeling we had when we first decided to accept the referral for Madison. It is extremely difficult to know that the future of our family is in the hands of another country but we remind ourselves that yes Guatemala is another country but God is universal and he is always in control.
Please continue to keep us and the adoption in your prayers. We also would like to ask everyone to keep Madison in your prayers while she is adjusting to being in a new foster home.

Update!

We have good news. Our case will be re-submitted to PGN on Jan. 16. We found out that the signature issues have been corrected and our paperwork is now ready for PGN. We also found out that PGN is not accepting cases until Jan. 16 so that is why we have to wait until then. We are just happy that we only have to wait for a short time. Once our case is in PGN (Guatemalan Government approval) it will go through three different reviewers for approval. We also found out that there is now an agency called the Central Authority which our case will have to be registered with. We do not know the details of this registration and what exactly it means but as soon as the agency finds out they will let us know. We knew that there would be some changes starting with the first of the year so the news of the Central Authority is not surprising. We are just excited to hear that we are going to be back in PGN soon. Our pray is now that we will not have another "kick out" and that our case will fly through PGN. We desperately want Madison to come home and are trying our best to keep our spirits up. We can both tell you that waiting on God's timing is not an easy thing to do but we know it is the right thing to do.
Please continue to pray for us, the adoption, Madison, and everyone who has anything to do with our case.

Shadow - my beloved cat

Iknow that most of the posts on this blog are about Madison and the adoption and that the adoption is the reason we started the blog. However it is also about our family and our pets are very much a part of our family. Today Wayne and I had to make one of the hardest decisions we have ever had to make. My cat Shadow became very sick and we had to decide what was best for her, in the end we decided to end her suffering and have her put to sleep. I have had Shadow for the past 10 years and she has been a very big part of my life. She was named Shadow for the simple fact that she was my shadow. She would follow me around the house and many times almost cause me to trip. If I was handwriting this post you would see tear stains on the paper. I am going to miss her more than I can say but I know that she is better not suffering anymore. I know that some of you may not be pet people but you can still understand that pets become a part of your family and it is very hard when you lose one.

Shadow, we love you and will miss you!