Taking the Blog in a new direction....

We started this blog when we started our adoption process. We started it mainly to document our process and to have a way to let family and friends know how the adoption was going. During the past few years, 75% (if not more) of the posts have been related to the adoption in some form or fashion. I have posted some about family, pets, and of course Jacob but mainly kept it about the adoption. I have now decided to take this blog in a new direction and use it as a way to capture our life on a regular basis. Life with a toddler is forever changing and a rewarding challenge. This blog will now be about the life we have been given and the family we are blessed with. We will always love Madison but we have to trust in God's love and plan for us and accept the outcome.

On a side note - to all of you who are grammar and punctuation buffs - I have a degree in Criminal Justice not English. I do tend to ramble and not use the correct punctuation at times. I try my best but most of the time I am typing with a toddler over my shoulder or with raw emotion and I don't always proof read before I hit publish.

The post I NEVER wanted to post....

I am sitting here with tears in my eyes and frustration in my broken heart as I try to figure out what to type. We received an email from our adoption agency last night. After a very long journey, our journey has come to an end and Madison will not be coming home. Wayne and I have been VERY concerned with our case and the issues we have had, because of our attorney's mistakes, for a very long time and had a gut feeling that this would happen. (It still hurts no matter how much you have prepared your heart for this.) After our court hearing on Dec. 7 we expected to not hear anything for several days because that is how Julio works, but after several weeks without news we began to get really suspicious. Our agency began to get suspicious as well, especially when the others who ALWAYS returned her phone calls and emails stopped returning them. Our agency called PGN and finally was able to speak with someone who would look into our case. She found out that our case was suspended by PGN for too many irregularities in the paperwork (documents) and that it had been given to the Public Ministries. Our coordinator asked what this meant and what the expected outcome would be and she was told that our case would not be completed. We ask that you please continue to pray for us and for Madison. We pray that she will be given the opportunity to be adopted by another family in Guatemala so that she will not spend the rest of her life in an orphanage.
It is now more than ever that we will cling to the verse at the top of our blog - Jer. 29:11 and trust that God's plan may not be clear now but that it is the best plan. We will lean on each other and our faith. With the help and support of all of you we will make it through this tough time and will posper in some way.

Last night I told my mom that I wanted to be angry at God for this and she told me that I couldn't because if I truely believe he is in control then I have to trust he knows what is best for us. After spending some time thinking about it I wanted to be angry at God because simply being angry at our attorney did not seem harsh enough. I know God loves us and his plan for us is not to harm us which makes it impossible for me to be angry at him. I do question why we had to go through so much to get this outcome but for whatever reason I will stand true in my faith and trust God. I also know that satan is behind all deception and I will say for all to read - SATAN YOU LOST, MY FAITH IN GOD HAS ONLY BEEN STRENGTHENED NOT BROKEN!
While my heart is broken and I so wanted a different outcome I will not let this defeat me or my family. I also will have faith that Madison will be taken care of and will have a safe and happy life. We may never see her again but I will always know that she in God's hands and be comforted by that knowledge.

Nulsy Yoliveth Hernandes Cruz (Madison) you will always be loved and will always have a piece of our hearts. I pray that you will grow up knowing that you are loved. Please know that you will always have the love of this mother and father's hearts and that we will always remember how special you are and will never forget.

Merry Christmas!

Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas. This is Jacob's second Christmas and unfortunately he and I are both sick. We are getting better but not 100% yet. We are both coughing and have runny noses. He is on antibiotic which has helped him a lot. Wayne is doing a good job of taking care of both of us and hopefully avoiding getting sick. We are spending Christmas Eve doing some cleaning, making sugar cookies, and then tonight going to our candle light service at church. Tomorrow we will spend at home. Just the three of us early in the morning then later Jacob's Grandmamma and Papa will come over for a bit. They will come back over for dinner after Jacob's required nap.

As far as the adoption goes....... we think we had our court hearing on Dec. 7 but our so called attorney refuses to talk to anyone. We have no news as to if the hearing took place and if it did what the out come was. Our agency coordinator calls the attorney and he pretends he can't hear her when he answers his phone. He then hangs up and refuses to answer the phone again. She is trying to get the translator to find out any information but he has had no luck as well. I have also sent the attorney several emails that have gone unanswered. At this point we are at a loss as to what to do or think. We want Madison to come home but after all of our prayers (yours included) we are beginning to wonder if we are not meant to be a family of four. It is in God's hands and we will continue to wait to see what he has planned but our question is how long do we wait? It will be three years coming up on April 21, we don't know if we can keep going emotionally for much longer. A person's heart can only take so much and plus we have Jacob to think about and he is beginning to notice her pictures and will be asking questions soon. We don't want to have his heart breaking like our hearts are.

Please pray that we find out something soon and that we know if we should keep going or close this journey. We love Madison will all of our hearts but if it is not meant to be we can't make it happen.

Sorry it has been so long between posts.

It has been a busy few months and I kept telling myself that I would update the blog tomorrow. Tomorrow is FINALLY here.

First an update about our adoption.
We had a scare a few weeks ago when we received an email from the Homeland Security Immigration Office that stated our case had been abandonded with their office. They gave us the reason of not having an updated homestudy. Evidently when we filed for the extension in December we were required to have a new homestudy completed. We had no idea. After finally getting a hold of our agency and speaking with our coordinator and then also my calling the Immigration office we found out that they would reinstate our case as long as we got a new homestudy. We would have done this a long time ago if we had known it was needed. We are now in the process of hurrying up and getting all of the paperwork required for a homestudy completed and then getting the actual homestudy scheduled and completed. This ia an URGENT process since the Immigration office told me we needed to have it done ASAP. We also have to have our finger prints taken for the third time.
Our case is supposedly still set for a court date in Guatemala on December 7. We can't seem to get any more information other than that. We are assuming that Madison is still in the same orphanage and just pray that she is getting great care. We as a family need this to come to a close soon so that we can move on and start our future. Please pray that God's will be done and that no matter what happens it will be the best for everyone. Of course we are wanting that to mean that on Dec. 7, the judge says that Madison is ours.
We did find out that once againg PGN has had a huge turnover of employees and so they are once again reviewing every case. We also found out that there are about 400 outstanding cases still pending in Guatemala. That means 400 children waiting to be with their forever families.

Now the news about Jacob.
Jacob will be 18 months old on Oct. 30. At his last doctor appointment he was in the 75th percent for both height and weight. He is learning new things everyday and his vocabulary is getting bigger and bigger each day. He loves to talk on the phone and most days wakes up in the morning saying "I talk, I talk" . Some of his favorite things to do are play ball and slide. He loves to be outside and around other kids.

* I know there are mispelled words in here but I am too tired to try to get spell check to work.

Jacob loves chicken legs and in this video he can't seem to give his up even while falling asleep.

Jacob Playing Peek-A-Boo

Video of Jacob at a summer water party

Jacob over the past few weeks.

What a cutie!











Trying on his daddy's combat boots....do you think they fit?

Stll no light at the end of the tunnel...

We had our court hearing/meeting yesterday and unfortunately the judge decided that we needed ANOTHER "FINAL" hearing in DECEMBER. Yes you did just read December. We have no idea why we have to wait until December other than that is when the judge said so that is what we have to do. Evidently during this time another form has to be filled out by our attorney and submitted for the adoption but we can't get any answers as to what that means and why it would take 6 months. I can't even begin to describe how Wayne and I feel right now. We are sad, upset, angry, frustrated, and numb all at the same time. We continue to believe that God is in control of this adoption and even when we don't understad we have to trust. I will tell you that we are tested each day with patience, understanding, and trust. It is our faith that has gotten us this far and it is our faith that will keep us going to the end. Our hearts break for Madison because she is still in the orphanage with no end in sight.
Please continue to pray for us, Madison, and this process.
We could really use a Miracle at this time.

Court Hearing is Today!

Our court hearing for the adoption case is today in Guatemala It is going to be at 11am (est) time. We are not sure what this hearing means but feel that it is for the judge to agree that the adoption can continue since it was kicked out of PGN. As soon as we hear something about the outcome I will post.

Thanks to everyone for your prayers.